4.92/5 15,000+ REVIEWS FROM PEOPLE WHO SURVIVED THEIR PURCHASE

A RANDOM SHIRT WILL BE ASSIGNED TO YOU

Mystery Shirt

CHOOSE YOUR SIZE. LET FATE FUCK WITH THE REST.

One Chubble Gum shirt. A lower-than-normal price. Absolutely no information about the design until it arrives and begins affecting your alignment.

YES, THIS IS THE ACTUAL PRODUCT LISTING BUY THE DAMN SHIRT HERE. Choose your size. Hit the red button. That is the entire ritual.
Mystery Shirt ACTUAL PRODUCT
UNKNOWN DESIGN
THE MYSTERY PRICE $22.00
DECLARE YOUR SIZE This is your one permitted decision. Use it recklessly.

  • 01One full Chubble Gum shirt
  • 02You choose the size
  • 03Fate chooses literally everything else
SECURE CHECKOUT SIZE GUARANTEED DESIGN ABSOLUTELY NOT GUARANTEED
Fantasy character wearing a Chubble Gum shirt
POSSIBLE OUTCOMECHAOTIC GOOD?
Fantasy warrior wearing a Chubble Gum shirt
POSSIBLE OUTCOMEOPENLY HOSTILE.
Dark fantasy character wearing a Chubble Gum shirt
POSSIBLE OUTCOMEMINOR THEOLOGICAL CONCERN.
YOUR RESULTS MAY VARY THE VIBE WILL NOT BE DISCLOSED.

THE THREE KNOWN ALIGNMENTS

ADORABLE.
HOSTILE.
LEGALLY CONCERNING.

The shirt could be cute. It could be mean. It could make your family quietly reconsider inviting you places. This is not a flaw. This is the entire product.

Cute mystery shirt outcome
ALIGNMENT 01LOOKS HARMLESS.Suspicious.
Hostile mystery shirt outcome
ALIGNMENT 02HAS A PROBLEM WITH YOU.Finally, something honest.
Dark mystery shirt outcome
ALIGNMENT 03MAYBE TODAY, SATAN.No follow-up questions.

IMPORTANT DOCUMENTATION

WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY BUYING

  • ONE SHIRTA complete one. Sleeves and everything.
  • YOUR SELECTED SIZEThe only promise we are emotionally equipped to make.
  • A RANDOM DESIGNColor, character and phrase are selected without your valuable input.
  • A LOWER PRICECompensation for briefly surrendering free will.

QUESTIONS FROM THE VILLAGE

ASK QUICKLY.
THE PORTAL IS CLOSING.

Can I request a specific design?

No. Specific designs, characters, phrases and colors cannot be requested. Your size is the only piece of information the prophecy accepts.

Are the shirts in these images guaranteed?

No. The images show the range of Chubble Gum energy your mystery shirt may bring. The exact design you receive remains a mystery.

Will multiple shirts be different?

Different designs are not guaranteed when ordering more than one. Fate has never read our duplicate-prevention policy.

Why does it cost less?

Because you are giving up the exhausting privilege of selecting the design yourself. Less control. Lower price. Ancient economics.

YOUR PARTY IS WAITING

LET FATE
PICK THE SHIRT.

You have spent enough time trying to make good decisions. Choose a size and let the universe embarrass itself for once.

Dark fantasy character conjuring a mystery shirt THE SHIRT HAS BEEN SUMMONED.
YOUR SIZE IS STILL REQUIRED.
MYSTERY SHIRT$22.00