Now streaming: holiday chaos

Have yourself a mildly unhinged little Christmas

Hand-drawn gifts for everyone on your list who says they're "fine." Spoiler: nobody's fine. Not you, not Grandma, and definitely not the elf on the shelf.

Panic shop gifts Gift recurring damage
No peeking

Official countdown

?? wake ups till Christmas

Plenty of time to spiral.

'TIS THE SEASON TO SET SOMETHING ON FIRE Chubble Gum characters in Santa hats on a snowy night, next to a sign that says Making a list, checking it twice, still not okay

Gift yourself something that you actually want

Don't trust someone else to get you what you want

Behind each door: a gift, a bad decision, or both.

  1. Emotional Baggage Box 🧳

    $45.00

  2. Plush - Not Doing This Shit Today

    $25.00

  3. 2027 Calendar

    $20.00

  4. Vibe Check Box

    $78.00

  5. Plush - Fluff Around and Find Out

    $25.00

  6. Sticker Club - Monthly Subscription

    $10.00

  7. $40 MEGA Dopamine Dispenser

    $40.00

  8. Plush - It's Way Too Peopley Out Here

    $25.00

  9. Retail Therapy Bundle

    $70.00

  10. I Know Your Lane Sucks

    $28.00

  11. Chubble Club - Monthly Subscription

    $25.00

  12. 12 Days of Christmas Advent

    $150.00

HOLIDAY GIFT DROP

Gifts for people who said “I'm fine” with their whole chest.

Curated bundles, hand-picked by real humans who are also barely surviving December. Unwrap it. Feel seen. Cry a normal amount.

SHOP ALL THE GIFT CHAOS
The Secret Santa Save
Under $10

The Secret Santa Save

You drew Brenda from accounting. You know nothing about Brenda.

Shop this tier →
The Secret Santa Save
Under $25

The Secret Santa Save

You drew Brenda from accounting. You know nothing about Brenda. Sticker packs + a charm pen. Now Brenda has a personality.

Shop this tier →
The “Saw This And Thought Of Your Issues” Bundle
Under $50

The “Saw This And Thought Of Your Issues” Bundle

Notebook, stickers and a plushie for the friend held together by iced coffee and spite.

Shop this tier →
The Full Unhinged Sleigh
$75+

The Full Unhinged Sleigh

Our biggest box. For when they deserve everything. Or you do. Treat yourself, we won't tell.

Shop this tier →

Leaked from the North Pole

The official naughty list

Compiled by Petty. Checked twice. Notarized by no one. Click a name to see their full file (and their merch, obviously).

Form 25-B · Behavior ReviewSeason 2026
  1. Rebelle Charge: Held Christmas dinner together with spite and boxed wine. Naughty
  2. Batrick Charge: Requested a black Christmas tree. Again. Nice-ish
  3. Petty Charge: Keeps a list of everyone who didn't text back. It's longer than Santa's. Under review
  4. Turt McGurt Charge: Hid in shell during the family photo. All 14 takes. Nice-ish
  5. Luci-purr Charge: Knocked the tree over. Maintained eye contact. Naughty
  6. Nervin Charge: Rehearsed "thank you, I love it" in the mirror 40 times. Nice-ish
  7. Crashout Charge: Built the toy without instructions. Lost. Naughty
  8. Mortimer Charge: Re-gifted a re-gift. Got caught. Under review
Appeals will be ignored festively.— S. Claus (probably)

Proof we aren't making this up

Santa ran the numbers. He's concerned, but impressed.

Santa's Audit

North Pole · Register 25 · Chubble Gum

  • Social followers1M+
  • Star average4.9
  • Reviews14K+
  • Hand drawn chaos100%
  • Corporate BS0%
Total unhinged100%

No refunds on emotional damage

Letters to SantaHe forwarded them to us. Real reviews from real people with real feelings.

Read all 14K+ letters
  • NORTH
    POLE★★★★★

    Dear Santa,

    Everything was cuter than expected and somehow more personally attacking.

    — Sandra

  • NORTH
    POLE★★★★★

    Dear Santa,

    I bought one thing and now my entire personality has a shopping cart.

    — Lauren

  • NORTH
    POLE★★★★★

    Dear Santa,

    The quality is great, the shipping wasn't fast, but the emotional damage was accurate.

    — Taylor

  • NORTH
    POLE★★★★★

    Dear Santa,

    I sent this to my friend and they said, unfortunately, it was them.

    — Chantel

How holiday gifting works

Tell us who's on the list.We'll pack the emotional damage.

Our gift bundles are curated by real humans who read your note and pick Chubble Gum goodies based on the person, the mood, and exactly how much holiday trauma you're working with.

Shop curated gift boxes
Note to Santa (it's us. we're Santa.)

"It's for my sister. She volunteered to host Christmas for the first time and has already cried in a Target twice. The turkey is still frozen. Please send help. Or stickers. Stickers are help."

  1. Pick your box

    Choose the bundle that fits your budget, your chaos level, or how many people are on your list.

  2. Scream into the void

    At checkout, tell us who it's for and what fresh hell they're in this season. We read every word. We're invested now.

  3. We pack the damage

    We curate a box so personal and suspiciously accurate they'll wonder if you've been talking to their therapist.

Get on the list

Holiday drops, new launches, secret discounts, and festive nonsense your inbox probably deserves.

Which list are you on?

No spam. We are annoying, but not like that. Not even at Christmas.