I Was Never Here
Under review
Subject
Mortimer
Soryy I'm late - I don't want to be here
- shows up late on purpose
- exits early without warning
- plays dead socially
- unread message specialist
- existing = achievement
Christmas wish: To be left alone. With presents. Lots of presents.
The evidence
- Item 01
Damage report
Mortimer plays dead through life. Less presence, less effort, just enough participation to avoid being asked for more.
- Item 02
Signature phrase
"Avoid Real Life and Play Dead"
- Item 03
Best gifted to
Avoidant introverts, unread-message experts, social escape artists, and anyone whose biggest accomplishment today was technically existing.
